One of my favorite quotes from Grease is “the rules are, There ain’t no rules” said by a rough looking Leo, Danny Zuko’s nemesis before the big car race as Sandy watches on before going to get changed into her sexy leather look. (Rule number one. Never think you can pull that look off! ) However you can’t always get by living with no rules or nothing to check back on as your go about your life, we all have morals, tactics and rules.
I don’t know about you but I have certain rules I like to live by. Rules to get me by in life and rules I’ve made up over the last 27 years which have come from different experiences and situations I have found myself in.
So without any further ado or off topic conversation here are a list of the rules I like to live by.
If something doesn’t make you happy – change it.
I don’t believe in suffering in silence. Whether it be a job, person, task, something you’ve agreed to but not regretting. If it’s making you unhappy, worry or turning into a problem simply find a way to change the situation so you can be happy. Life is too short to not be happy everyday. Start looking for a new job, chat with the person who’s making you un happy and try and sort it out, if not do you really need them? Sometimes just knowing you have the option to back out is enough and can make a world of difference to your mental health. This year I quit my job, and took a risk to go back to doing the thing I’m most passionate about. Photography. I can’t even tell you how much happier I am now! I don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner!
Put your friends and family first.
Friends are so important in life, whether you have 2 or 20 you need to be good to the ones you have. I’m often putting work or other commitments before the ones I love but sometimes I just need to take a rain check and realise it is important to spend quality time with the people who make you laugh till you cry, constantly feel loved and are always there for you not matter what .
Count your blessings.
Every evening I write a list of things I enjoyed about my day. Small achievements, something nice someone said, something I learnt or even just if it was a nice sunny day. Its nice to keep a little diary and turns into a list of all the things which make you happy which can be lovely to look back on. You also find that even on the worst of days there is usually something which was nice about it… even if it was a glass of wine!
Keep a memory box.
This is similar to the point above. Keeping a memory box, some people call it hoarding but I think it’s nice, plane tickets, gig tickets, dried flowers, corks, you name it – it all goes in there. Again it is a nice way to reflect on some good times and as my memory is so terrible helps me to remember what I’ve actually done this year.
Remember you can’t always make everyone happy.
Whether it is those much loved friends, your boss, your client, your parents or your instagram following. It is impossible to make everyone happy at the same time, everyone has different options and preferences. It is important to remember in these times that as long as you tried your hardest and you’re doing what you think is best then that is fine.
Look good feel good.
I generally believe that this moto helped me get to the summit of Kilimanjaro. Everyday I put cream on my face and a bit of mascara and eyeliner and off I went. I believe your appearance helps your mental state and your confidence. For example. I am far more productive working from home when I’ve got up and dressed and I’m not still sat in my pjs. When the flat is looking tidy after all, tidy room tidy mind, whatever the mood, even on a hang over as soon as you’ve had a shower and got up its helps you to feel so much better.
If you’re going to do it, do it properly.
There is never any point in doing something half arsed, always try your hardest at whatever it is. At the end of the day it won’t ever look good and you won’t see the results you wanted to achieve. When you actually put effort in and go at something hull heartedly no matter what it is- the results will speak for themselves and it will always pay off. Even if it is eventually.
Never have your phone on the table.
This is something I really believe in. Although understand in this modern world we live in it can be hard to do. Having your phone at the table means you’re open to distraction, Lets the person you’re with know your not entirely focused on them and makes it way too easy to quickly check twitter or instagram absent mindly half listening to the conversation you were just in. It’s so easy today to let your phone lead your life. We have become addicted to having everything instantly at the tip of our fingers and i think this can get in the way of conversations and relationships you have with people. There have been countless times where I’ll be out with friends for drinks or coffee and mid way through our conversation they will pick up their phone and start scrolling or checking something. I do it to! So I have decided that, No phone at the table is the best policy for me. I want my friends and family to know they have my whole attention.
If you want it buy it.
Not as dangerous as it sounds. I used to ( and sometimes still do) go on massive shopping sprees. I will have an idea of what I want but as soon as I hit the shops I just buy buy buy, only for half of it to be returned or worse still, left unworn with the tag on years later. My more mature-ish self has come to realise this is not cost effective and a bit of a waste.
The plan is now to only buy something I reallllly reallllllly want. And If i can’t afford it, save up for it until I can. I always find myself buying a cheaper alternative and it is never the same. For example this ring. I saw it in altrincham market months ago and I am still constantly looking at it and lovingly staring at the picture. This to me now indicates I should buy it. It is something I really desire and know I will have a lot of use.
- Always ask questions.
There are two ways this rule fits into my life, the first is, if you don’t ask you dont get, I have always been quite blatant about this one. Obviously I am not saying to go around demanding stuff but asking for what you want in the right way can pay off and open up doors for you that you never thought would be possible. It’s not all going to be high flying yes’s but its start, can show enthusiasm and gets you on people’s radar. The trick is not to be disheartened if someone says no or just ignores your question. Whether this is for a extra free chocolate given out in the station or a job opportunity you’d like, nothing bad is going to happen from simply asking in a nice way.
The second way this fits in is to every conversation. Every now and then you will stumble across people who just go on and on about themselves, obviously. After an hour of them talking at you, you realise that actually they didn’t ask one question about you or what you’re up to now yet you know there whole life story. It is always important to ask questions, by doing so your learn more about the other person or find out something interesting. Even if it is someone you don’t know well or have bumped into and exchanged some banter in the que. Ask them a question, it can lead to the most fascinating answers!
“Do everything as if your idol is watching” – Jessica Seinfeld.
This is a quote I saw in a magazine and one that I think nicely sums up what I have said so far. The idea of doing everything as if your idol was watching means you will end up putting more effort and care into what you do, as though you would to impress your idol, Would you be tweeting if your idol was sat opposite you at the dinner table or would you be engaging them in conversation. Would you be running round buying everything in the shop or would you be showing them the one thing you really love that you’re going to buy. Would you be telling them all the stuff that has gone wrong in your day or would you be focusing on the best stuff which has happened in your day… All makes sense doesn’t it !
Hope you enjoyed my top tips of life. What are the life rules you live by? I’d love to know or compare!